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October 16, 2009
...How Do You Get Over A Boy?
Question from Sarah: Hi, it’s jus me, Sarah and I’m 14 years old now :) Just turned it last week :) But anyways, I have a question that I have tried to figure out for about a month now. There is this guy (of course) and he and I were dating for a while, but then he started liking another girl that he used to date. All of my friends tell me that he isn’t worth it and that I’m too good for him and all that stuff like good friends always do, but I can’t seem to get over him. Every little thing I do reminds me if him and I hurt so much because I know that I can never get back together with him ever because of 1)my friends would think I was crazy and 2) Ill get hurt again. I never show that I still like him and everybody thinks I have moved on but I still do really like him and I hate it! What do I do to get over him?
Response: Sarah, never say never. You are only 14 years old. This guy liked you once. He may like you again. You have no idea what will happen in the coming years. Your friends are saying what good, supportive girlfriends say. However, I was never a big fan of the “You’re too good for him, he’s a creep” response in defense of the dumpee. Here’s why. You may get back with him. You’re friends’ words will linger and you may resent them for having said that about your guy. I know why they said it. They said it because they love you. Kids your age are going to like different boys and girls. It’s not what he did to you. It’s how he did it. Did he break up using care and concern for your feelings, or did he dump you callously? Is he a nice boy? If he behaved cruelly, will he learn and change from his mistakes? Only you know the answers. Sure it’s easier to get over someone if you can hate him. But it sounds like you’re not ready for that yet. You may get back with this boy one day. That day is probably not today. The quickest and most delightful way to get over someone is to fall for someone else. So make an effort. Talk to people. Be open. Be yourself. See the good in people. Stop comparing everyone to him and before you know what has happened, you will be in the throws of your next crush. That’s just the way it works.
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